What is Bullying?

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Bullying is a distinctive pattern of harming and humiliating others, specifically those who are in some way smaller, weaker, younger or in any way more vulnerable than the bully. Bullying is not garden-variety aggression; it is a deliberate and repeated attempt to cause harm to others of lesser power (Bullying | Psychology Today. (2017). Psychologytoday.com. Retrieved from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/bullying).

Why do people bully others?

Cultural Causes of Bullying – In a culture that is fascinated with winning, power, and violence, some experts suggest that it is unrealistic to expect that people will not be influenced to seek power through violence in their own lives. Researchers point to the World Wrestling Federation (WWF) as glorification of bullies in the name of entertainment and point out that the high rate of domestic violence means that many young people grow up expecting that violence is an acceptable way to get what one wants.

Social Issues – The fact that one gets more social recognition for negative behaviors than for positive ones can also contribute to reasons why people bully. Situation comedies and reality television, as well as real life situations in schools, for example, show that acting out is more likely to get noticed than behaving oneself civilly and courteously. Jealousy or envy and a lack of personal and social skills to deal with such feelings can also be reasons why people bully.

Family Issues – Families that are not warm and loving and in which feelings are not shared are more likely to have children who bully, either within the family home or in other locations in which the children meet others. Another home environment that is prone to producing bullies is one in which discipline and monitoring are inconsistent and/or a punitive atmosphere exists.

The Bully’s Personal History – Children who experience social rejection themselves are more likely to “pass it on” to others. Children who experience academic failure are also more likely to bully others.

Having Power – Some research indicates that the very fact of having power may make some people wish to wield it in a noticeable way, but it is also true that people may be given power without being trained in the leadership skills that will help them wield it wisely. Either situation can contribute to why people bully others.

Provocative Victims – People who are annoying and condescending to others and/or aggressive verbally, or in other ways that are not picked up by those in authority, may contribute to the dynamic that can be characterized as bullying by one individual but actually grows out of provocation by another individual (Why do People Bully? – Bullying Statistics. (2017). Bullying Statistics. Retrieved from: http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/why-do-people-bully.html).

Types of bullying

bully-1Physical bullying

Physical bullying includes hitting, kicking, tripping, pinching and pushing or damaging property. Physical bullying causes both short term and long term damage.

437735ff72e8eb42ab4dbce7796b1f94--verbal-bullying-verbal-abuse Verbal bullying

Verbal bullying includes name calling, insults, teasing, intimidation, homophobic or racist remarks, or verbal abuse. While verbal bullying can start off harmless, it can escalate to levels which start affecting the individual target. Keep reading in this section for techniques to deal with verbal bullying.

images.jpgSocial bullying

Social bullying, sometimes referred to as covert bullying, is often harder to recognise and can be carried out behind the bullied person’s back. It is designed to harm someone’s social reputation and/or cause humiliation. Social bullying includes:

  • lying and spreading rumours
  • negative facial or physical gestures, menacing or contemptuous looks
  • playing nasty jokes to embarrass and humiliate
  • mimicking unkindly
  • encouraging others to socially exclude someone
  • damaging someone’s social reputation or social acceptance.

images  Cyber bullying

Cyber bullying can be overt or covert bullying behaviours using digital technologies, including hardware such as computers and smartphones, and software such as social media, instant messaging, texts, websites and other online platforms.

Cyber bullying can happen at any time. It can be in public or in private and sometimes only known to the target and the person bullying. Cyber bullying can include:

  • Abusive or hurtful texts emails or posts, images or videos
  • Deliberately excluding others online
  • Nasty gossip or rumours
  • Imitating others online or using their log-in

(Types Of Bullying | National Centre Against Bullying. (2017). Ncab.org.au. Retrieved from: https://www.ncab.org.au/bullying-advice/bullying-for-parents/types-of-bullying/).

Signs of bullying

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Signs of cyber bullying:

  • Low self-esteem
  • Withdrawal from family and spending a lot of time alone
  • Reluctance to let parents or other family members anywhere near their mobiles, laptops etc
  • Finding excuses to stay away from school or work including school refusal
  • Friends disappearing or being excluded from social events
  • Losing weight or changing appearance to try and fit in
  • Fresh marks on the skin that could indicate self-harm and dressing differently such as wearing long sleeved clothes in the summer to hide any marks
  • A change in personality i.e. anger, depression, crying, withdrawn

Signs of physical bullying:

  • Has unexplained bruises, cuts, scratches
  • Comes home with missing or damaged belongings or clothes
  • Comes home hungry

Emotional and behavioural signs of bullying:

  • Changes in sleep patterns
  • Changes in eating patterns
  • Frequent tears or anger
  • Mood swings
  • Feels ill in the morning
  • Becomes withdrawn or starts stammering
  • Becomes aggressive and unreasonable
  • Refuses to talk about what is wrong
  • Begins to target siblings
  • Continually ‘loses’ money or starts stealing

School signs of bullying:

 

Signs of verbal bullying:

  •  They feel nervous when approaching the abuser with certain topics.
  •  They are insulted on a regular basis (abusers use foul language with seemingly normal requests).
  •  They always “tell on themselves” about innocent events lest their abuser finds out later and punishes them.
  •  They feel misunderstood for the most part of their relationship.
  •  They start doubting their own sanity, intelligence, and communication skills.
  •  They also doubt their own memories because they remember events and conversations differently than their abuser.
  •  They are blamed for the abuser’s behavior and actions. It’s always the victim’s fault that they lose control over themselves.
  •  They always feel scared and threatened by their abusers.

All these verbal abuse signs indicate that abusers are often sneaky and that they slowly poison their victims’ thoughts with confusion and doubt (Understanding Verbal Abuse Signs – NoBullying – Bullying & CyberBullying Resources. (2017). NoBullying – Bullying & CyberBullying Resources. Retrieved from: https://nobullying.com/verbal-abuse-signs/).

 

Other signs of bullying:

Sometimes signs bullying can be far more hidden. They can include: